Road Trips

I haven't blogged for like a week. And I fear that this week will be short on blogs too as I am leaving on Wednesday for my cousin's wedding in Nebraska. I am flying out Wednesday morning - but I am driving home with my parents, bro and sister in law. This should be kinda fun. I do like a good family road trip. And, I thought I would write a brief tribute to some classic moments in road trip history:

The Raptures:
Even as a small girl, I had a propensity to rap - and Godliness. So, naturally I listened to Christian rap, aka The Raptures. If Sandy Patti and Jay-Z had a baby - you would get the Raptures. They were a super cool Christian rap band...for kids. When I was 5, I was obsessed with them. Sadly, my older bro and sis were not as enthused at these musical geniuses and would complain everytime I insisted my parents played the tape for me. My brother once told me he threw it out the window and I started crying.

Pig Latin:
This is the "secret" language my brother and sister came up with so that they wouldn't have to talk to me on road trips. Even though I was really fun and had great Christian rap tapes to offer.

Crappy music tickets:
My brother, sister and I started this. At the start of the journey, everyone gets three gum wrappers, known as a "crappy music ticket" - and when a song comes on the radio that no one else wants to listen to and you do....you can cash in your "crappy music ticket" and listen to the song. But you only have three crappy music tickets...so you really have to evaluate.

Fun bags:
This is a bag my mom insisted we all pack that usually inlcuded cards, a babysitters club book and car bingo. But, even today when I am going on like a trip for work, my mom will ask me in a straight face what I am bringing in my fun bag. I am so old and mature, mom - why would I have a fun bag?

Chapstick:
This is a fun little game that my mom likes to play. She will stick her huge "fun bag" in a place that is hard to get to...like stuffed tightly under the very back seat, behind a cooler. Then she will say "Honey, can you get crawl into the back and get into my bag and get me my chapstick?" This is kind of like finding a needle in a haystack - except that the haystack is like really hard to get to - nearly impossible actually - and you have to get to it while traveling at high speeds. It drives me crazy.

Pillowman:
One time when my family and I were driving home from a trip my brother got really bored and put a pillowcase on his head and some sunglasses over the pillow. Then he started calling himself pillowman and waving to cars as they passed by. This joke will never get old for me.

The Mortician:
On a trip a few years ago, we were driving to my grandpa's funeral and there was definitely more than one conversation about how good of a couple me and my grandpa's mortician would make. I think there was even an awkward attempt at getting us alone together and my family kept telling me to flirt with him to see if I could get them discounts on future funerals.

Blog it like its hot

I don't know why I have been in such a blog updating mood lately. I guess my sister started up her blog again and I need to keep up!

Anyways, I have always wanted to title a post Blog it Like it's Hot. (mom, this is in reference to a rap song - where the original words are DROP it like it's hot - usually used to describe a person dancing in a provactive manner). And - now that I have a name - I need a topic. And today's topic?

Sandal boots.

That's right. I was reading the Fashion section of the AZ Republic and bam - there they were.

or an even more horrific specimen....
Now what are people thinking?

I am sorry for the horrible cliche - but I am a girl and I like shoes. I have even been known to take some fashion risks in this department. But, you will never catch me in a sandal boot.

I like sandals. I like boots. But sometimes you can't combine two good things and get a good thing.

Here are some other things I like - but you can't put together:

* I like my dad. I also like listening to scandalous ghetto rap - but am I really going to listen to "back that thing up" with him in the car? No. That's when you turn on k-love or Neil Diamond.

* Lycra has been a good friend to me. So has denim....but do i think stretch denim is a good idea? Not on most.

* I like words. I also like sweatpants. Should we put those words ON the sweatpants - esp. on the butt? No. (esp. words that say True Love Waits right on the booty? A thousand no's)

So, that's all. I hope none of you are sporting the sandal boots (or abstinence sweatpants) or I will feel really bad.

Bag dilemma.

I have found the perfect bag for my lunches at work. This excites me because a good bag is hard to find! It's sturdy, has nice handles, excellent dimensions - BUT - there is a problem... it's from Victoria's Secret.

This week I tried to tell myself it doesn't matter if I walk the office halls with a lingerie bag containing a lean cuisine and a snapple. No one will notice.

But what if they do?

Have you ever tried sticking a Victoria's Secret bag in the office fridge?? It looks pretty unprofessional and scandalous amidst a sea of boring black lunchboxes and paper bags. What will my coworkers think of me?

One time I had to bring some super spirtual people (that read this blog) a lot of mail and I ran into the same dilemma. It was the perfect sized bag - but do I really want to deliver anything to a pastor's family using it? Not really.

From now on I am going to focus on stocking up on bags from places only super Godly women shop at, like the Christian Bookstore or Micheal's.

In conclusion? The right bag at the wrong time is still the wrong bag.

Oh work.

Working in public relations - part of my job is to find magazines who want to write about our organization. So, I have to research various publications to see where our news would fit it. My boss sometimes tells me I am sort of like a media match maker. And...my last name means matchmaker so it makes sense (my last name also means fat, gossipy old woman...but that is no fun).


So, anyways - unfortunately, I don't get to research fun publications like Vogue or US Weekly - but I have to find things that purchasing people are reading. And let me tell you - they aren't reading anything cool.


But, I am leanring lots of new things. I mean, really - there is a magazine for practically everything out there! I know I have written about this before, but I do find new publications that must be shared.



* Door Dealer: This magazine is for people who sell doors. You didn't think people who sold doors needed their own magazine did you? Oh, but they do.

* Brick World: This is for people who deal with bricks. Either they make them or sell them or just generally like bricks. (this is my favorite)

* Parking Lots Weekly: You guessed it! People who are in the parking lot business need some reading too.

* Mini Storage Message: Apparently a lot goes on in the world of storage.

* Light Bulbs Today: Now, good lighting is soo essential. I love to blame bad lighting for both major and minor flaws in my appearance. Feeling ugly? Blame the lighting. Bad outfit? Oh, it just looks bad in this light...and so on and so forth. But, I think this publication is just so obscure. But, I actually have some friends who might like this kind of reading (yay Voss) so I am def. not going to question the legitimacy of such info.


So. Just thought I would share just how broad the print media can be. That is all.

Devotional FAIL

Ok. I really like devotionals. I do. I own several and I even read some of them sometimes...
But, somehow - I got on this e-mail listserv from Christianity Today - and it sends me "Devotions for Dieters."

If all the devotional books in the world got together and did mock elections like in high school...lets just say that Oswald Chambers would get "Most likely to inspire men to greatness" while Devotions for Dieters would get "Most likely to not inspire anyone to lose weight...ever. In fact, people may get fatter reading you."

Like, seriously. This stuff is bad. But, again – kinda the literary equivalent of a train wreck – I can’t look away.

Here is yesterday's entry.

Revelation 3:21 'To him that overcometh will I grant to sit with me in my throne, even as I also overcame, and am set down with my Father in his throne.'

Gramps promised Kathy that if she would lose forty pounds by Christmas, he would take her to Bermuda with him. Kathy could hardly wait for Gramps to see her. She'd topped out at fifty-three pounds lost, and had a note from her doctor as documented proof. At first, she never thought she'd make it, but a lot of prayers, sweat, tears, and sacrifice had made it come true. She had never worked so hard for anything in her life. Even without the trip, she felt she'd received reward enough, but she planned to hold Gramps to his promise, anyway.

Today's thought: I'd rather be overjoyed than overweight!

Now, if I really wanted to turn this mocking into a legitimate concern for weak theology …I would say that if Gramps = God, than Kathy is using “Gramps” to get to Bermuda which is pretty lame. But – I am trying to not get too preachy here…

So now, no offense to gramps – but I hardly think a trip to Bermuda with my grandpa is motivation to slim down. I could see slimming down for a wedding or maybe to rid your closet of stetch denim…but a tropical vacay with Grandpa? Mmm…

Furthermore, are we really comparing the right hand of God to Bermuda? Oh geez.

I feel a little bit guilty for blogging about this. In fact, I one time blogged about these devotionals but later deleted it because I felt bad. So, until the Holy Spirit persuades me to take this down....enjoy NOT being inspired to lose any weight.

Mowing the lawn is not the worst thing in the world.

Um. I have discovered a new love. Lawn Mowing. I would just like to write a little blurb about this - mostly to impress my father - and try to secure my place as his current favorite. Sometimes I ask my dad who he loves the best and he claims to love us all "exactly the same" - but I suspect if I took up hunting and yardwork I would inch my way up to the top of his list. (It should be noted that my mom does not try to hide the fact that my brother is her favorite. Oh well.)

Anyways - back to my point. I mowed our lawn this weekend - and once I figured out how to start the mower (thank you Jen for the over-the-phone tutorial) I was in business. Mowing is JUST like vacuuming, except when you are done - you have worked out AND gotten a tan. What's not to love about that?

I never thought I would be one of those girls who mowed the lawn...but there I was on a Saturday afternoon trying to make neat little lines in the grass and shopping for weed killer. What has become of me?

Now, I am not like going to start going to Home Depot for fun or anything, but lawn mowing was not as painful as I expected. Yay.

On an unrelated note. This morning I put both of my contacts in the same eye. Has anyone ever done this? ....Anyone? I seriously could not figure out what was wrong. I thought I rubbed off the part of the contact that makes you see better. I kept taking out the one on top and cleaning it and putting it back in. Like for ten minutes. It was so sad. I can be so blonde.

Thank you amazon.com

I am a little hesitant to blog about the following, because it does make me sound really uncool. But, oh well.

I am having some mixed feelings about amazon.com.

I was looking for a book, and I saw a link that said "What Amazon recommends for Lindsey" Curious to see the girl that amazon.com imagined me to be...I clicked. In all ofmy pride, I kind of thought there would be some cool, hip books for single, fun, 25-year old girls – you know like Bridget Jones’ diary type things – about quirky, cool, career girls. Maybe some trendy books on how to dress or something. Oh no. Here is a sampling amazon.com's recommended reading list for me.

* Singled out for Him

* The Single Truth

* A collection of Puritan Prayers

* Revelations of a single woman: loving the life I didn't expect

And lastly, a Christian must-read

* I kissed dating goodbye

I think a girl's recommended amazon list says a lot about her. (Kind of like how you can tell a lot about what people are struggling with/struggled with by what verses they have underlined in their Bible....) So, that's why I am concerned that my list makes me look like the single cat lady.

Why can't they recommend cooler books for me like:

* The hot, Godly girls guide to staying relevant

* Fashion and Jesus - two worthy pursuits

Truly, the only other book I have ordered off of amazon was a John Piper book. So, how do the people at amazon know?! Is my mother working for them?

So, my friends - go ahead. Go ahead and check out what amazon recommends for you. It's kind of like googling your own name. It can be enlightening... or it might just confirm to you what you already know.

And – not to stray from my habit of mentioning Becky in every blog (I really don't do this on purpose - but, I like a blog with a picture) – here is a picture of Becky actually reading Revelations of a Single Woman. For us, one joke that never gets old is where we get a book about singleness and strategically place ourselves in the line of godly men (actually - we really just talk about this or do it for posed photo opportunities.). It is soo good for a laugh…although a little shameful/pathetic/embarrassing for a blog perhaps. But, I am pretty the sure the 6 people who read this blog are not surprised by my lameness and will continue to be my friends.