Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Ode to green bean casserole

In honor of thanksgiving, I am dedicating this post to one of the classic Thanksgiving dishes...green bean casserole.


So, pretty much every year at my house I am responsible for bringing the green bean casserole (GBC) to family thanksgiving. Now, I like green bean casserole, and I always just assumed that everyone liked it...what's not to like? Green beans, french fried onions, soup....all mixed together with love. It's a recipe for pure delight.


So, this year I am going over menu plans with my mom for thanksgivng and I say "so do you want me to bring the green bean casserole?" And she gets kind of quiet.

This is no good.

So, I ask "What - do you not like green bean casserole?" And she says in a very mother-y way "I like whatever you make Lindsey...you make what you want." Which is the equivalent of telling your kid "if you had fun, you won" after they just totally screwed up in a sports game or something.


So I probe my mother for more information and it turns out that all these years - no one in my family even likes green bean casserole. No one! They only gave me the green bean casserole responsibility because it had like 4 ingredients, and they doubted my domestic abilities. So, moral of the story? Don't eat green bean casserole out of pity and lead your daughter and sister to believe that her casserole is delicious when in fact, it struggles. I can take defeat. And this year I will wow you all with brown sugar carrots. Prepare to be impressed.
RIP

Monday, September 15, 2008

Oh no they didn't...

Well. This afternoon I had to take a trip to the Christian bookstore to pick up a gift for someone. And - I've decided that if ever my blog is running dry, I just need to take a trip to the Christian bookstore and I should have some new material.

So, anyone who has bought a greeting card in the last two years know that the trend is these $5 musical cards - that play like a full length song when you open them. I am guilty of purchasing several of these cards....one card had the chicken dance, and then one of the cards played "Unchained Melody" - which was my parents song - so I got them that for their anniversary. Nothing is more romantic than opening up a card and having a poorly recorded version of your song playing.

But now - Christians have gotten in on the musical card action and let me tell you - they did not dissapoint.

The classics are all available for purchase.

Here are some highlights:

* Friends by Michael W. Smith
(I was a MWS freak when I was little....and just when you think this song couldn't get any cheesier? They attach it to a greeting card....)
* Jesus Freak by DC Talk
(I would question your salvation if you didn't own the Jesus Freak CD...I am kidding. Sorta)
* Indescribable by Chris Tomlin
(I love me some Tomlin - but telling someone happy birthday with this song is weird)
* Shine by the Newsboys (Another mid-90s classic)

I am kind of waiting for some other Musical Christian greeting cards to come out....but instead of songs, they would be like snippets of really convicting John Piper sermons or maybe even a loud God -like voice saying "WWJD?" Maybe they could have one that on the outside said "Happy Birthday" but then when you opened it - it went into a full gospel presentation - and made a reference to your birthday gift being the free gift of salvation.

Just some ideas for you people in the audio Christian greeting card business.

Oh. And if you would like to further invesitigate and perhaps purchase:

http://www.dayspring.com/ecards/choice.asp?SubcatID=197

ps. In honor of a super spiritual blog entry - I have changed my profile picture to match. That's me just doing some reading.

Monday, August 11, 2008

Road Trips

I haven't blogged for like a week. And I fear that this week will be short on blogs too as I am leaving on Wednesday for my cousin's wedding in Nebraska. I am flying out Wednesday morning - but I am driving home with my parents, bro and sister in law. This should be kinda fun. I do like a good family road trip. And, I thought I would write a brief tribute to some classic moments in road trip history:

The Raptures:
Even as a small girl, I had a propensity to rap - and Godliness. So, naturally I listened to Christian rap, aka The Raptures. If Sandy Patti and Jay-Z had a baby - you would get the Raptures. They were a super cool Christian rap band...for kids. When I was 5, I was obsessed with them. Sadly, my older bro and sis were not as enthused at these musical geniuses and would complain everytime I insisted my parents played the tape for me. My brother once told me he threw it out the window and I started crying.

Pig Latin:
This is the "secret" language my brother and sister came up with so that they wouldn't have to talk to me on road trips. Even though I was really fun and had great Christian rap tapes to offer.

Crappy music tickets:
My brother, sister and I started this. At the start of the journey, everyone gets three gum wrappers, known as a "crappy music ticket" - and when a song comes on the radio that no one else wants to listen to and you do....you can cash in your "crappy music ticket" and listen to the song. But you only have three crappy music tickets...so you really have to evaluate.

Fun bags:
This is a bag my mom insisted we all pack that usually inlcuded cards, a babysitters club book and car bingo. But, even today when I am going on like a trip for work, my mom will ask me in a straight face what I am bringing in my fun bag. I am so old and mature, mom - why would I have a fun bag?

Chapstick:
This is a fun little game that my mom likes to play. She will stick her huge "fun bag" in a place that is hard to get to...like stuffed tightly under the very back seat, behind a cooler. Then she will say "Honey, can you get crawl into the back and get into my bag and get me my chapstick?" This is kind of like finding a needle in a haystack - except that the haystack is like really hard to get to - nearly impossible actually - and you have to get to it while traveling at high speeds. It drives me crazy.

Pillowman:
One time when my family and I were driving home from a trip my brother got really bored and put a pillowcase on his head and some sunglasses over the pillow. Then he started calling himself pillowman and waving to cars as they passed by. This joke will never get old for me.

The Mortician:
On a trip a few years ago, we were driving to my grandpa's funeral and there was definitely more than one conversation about how good of a couple me and my grandpa's mortician would make. I think there was even an awkward attempt at getting us alone together and my family kept telling me to flirt with him to see if I could get them discounts on future funerals.

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Blog it like its hot

I don't know why I have been in such a blog updating mood lately. I guess my sister started up her blog again and I need to keep up!

Anyways, I have always wanted to title a post Blog it Like it's Hot. (mom, this is in reference to a rap song - where the original words are DROP it like it's hot - usually used to describe a person dancing in a provactive manner). And - now that I have a name - I need a topic. And today's topic?

Sandal boots.
That's right. I was reading the Fashion section of the AZ Republic and bam - there they were.

or an even more horrific specimen....
Now what are people thinking?

I am sorry for the horrible cliche - but I am a girl and I like shoes. I have even been known to take some fashion risks in this department. But, you will never catch me in a sandal boot.
I like sandals. I like boots. But sometimes you can't combine two good things and get a good thing.
Here are some other things I like - but you can't put together:

* I like my dad. I also like listening to scandalous ghetto rap - but am I really going to listen to "back that thing up" with him in the car? No. That's when you turn on k-love or Neil Diamond.

* Lycra has been a good friend to me. So has denim....but do i think stretch denim is a good idea? Not on most.

* I like words. I also like sweatpants. Should we put those words ON the sweatpants - esp. on the butt? No. (esp. words that say True Love Waits right on the booty? A thousand no's)

So, that's all. I hope none of you are sporting the sandal boots (or abstinence sweatpants) or I will feel really bad.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Bag dilemma.

I have found the perfect bag for my lunches at work. This excites me because a good bag is hard to find! It's sturdy, has nice handles, excellent dimensions - BUT - there is a problem... it's from Victoria's Secret.

This week I tried to tell myself it doesn't matter if I walk the office halls with a lingerie bag containing a lean cuisine and a snapple. No one will notice.

But what if they do?
Have you ever tried sticking a Victoria's Secret bag in the office fridge?? It looks pretty unprofessional and scandalous amidst a sea of boring black lunchboxes and paper bags. What will my coworkers think of me?

One time I had to bring some super spirtual people (that read this blog) a lot of mail and I ran into the same dilemma. It was the perfect sized bag - but do I really want to deliver anything to a pastor's family using it? Not really.

From now on I am going to focus on stocking up on bags from places only super Godly women shop at, like the Christian Bookstore or Micheal's.

In conclusion? The right bag at the wrong time is still the wrong bag.




Friday, July 18, 2008

Oh work.

Working in public relations - part of my job is to find magazines who want to write about our organization. So, I have to research various publications to see where our news would fit it. My boss sometimes tells me I am sort of like a media match maker. And...my last name means matchmaker so it makes sense (my last name also means fat, gossipy old woman...but that is no fun).


So, anyways - unfortunately, I don't get to research fun publications like Vogue or US Weekly - but I have to find things that purchasing people are reading. And let me tell you - they aren't reading anything cool.


But, I am leanring lots of new things. I mean, really - there is a magazine for practically everything out there! I know I have written about this before, but I do find new publications that must be shared.



* Door Dealer: This magazine is for people who sell doors. You didn't think people who sold doors needed their own magazine did you? Oh, but they do.

* Brick World: This is for people who deal with bricks. Either they make them or sell them or just generally like bricks. (this is my favorite)

* Parking Lots Weekly: You guessed it! People who are in the parking lot business need some reading too.

* Mini Storage Message: Apparently a lot goes on in the world of storage.

* Light Bulbs Today: Now, good lighting is soo essential. I love to blame bad lighting for both major and minor flaws in my appearance. Feeling ugly? Blame the lighting. Bad outfit? Oh, it just looks bad in this light...and so on and so forth. But, I think this publication is just so obscure. But, I actually have some friends who might like this kind of reading (yay Voss) so I am def. not going to question the legitimacy of such info.


So. Just thought I would share just how broad the print media can be. That is all.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Devotional FAIL

Ok. I really like devotionals. I do. I own several and I even read some of them sometimes...
But, somehow - I got on this e-mail listserv from Christianity Today - and it sends me "Devotions for Dieters."

If all the devotional books in the world got together and did mock elections like in high school...lets just say that Oswald Chambers would get "Most likely to inspire men to greatness" while Devotions for Dieters would get "Most likely to not inspire anyone to lose weight...ever. In fact, people may get fatter reading you."

Like, seriously. This stuff is bad. But, again – kinda the literary equivalent of a train wreck – I can’t look away.

Here is yesterday's entry.

Revelation 3:21 'To him that overcometh will I grant to sit with me in my throne, even as I also overcame, and am set down with my Father in his throne.'

Gramps promised Kathy that if she would lose forty pounds by Christmas, he would take her to Bermuda with him. Kathy could hardly wait for Gramps to see her. She'd topped out at fifty-three pounds lost, and had a note from her doctor as documented proof. At first, she never thought she'd make it, but a lot of prayers, sweat, tears, and sacrifice had made it come true. She had never worked so hard for anything in her life. Even without the trip, she felt she'd received reward enough, but she planned to hold Gramps to his promise, anyway.

Today's thought: I'd rather be overjoyed than overweight!

Now, if I really wanted to turn this mocking into a legitimate concern for weak theology …I would say that if Gramps = God, than Kathy is using “Gramps” to get to Bermuda which is pretty lame. But – I am trying to not get too preachy here…

So now, no offense to gramps – but I hardly think a trip to Bermuda with my grandpa is motivation to slim down. I could see slimming down for a wedding or maybe to rid your closet of stetch denim…but a tropical vacay with Grandpa? Mmm…

Furthermore, are we really comparing the right hand of God to Bermuda? Oh geez.

I feel a little bit guilty for blogging about this. In fact, I one time blogged about these devotionals but later deleted it because I felt bad. So, until the Holy Spirit persuades me to take this down....enjoy NOT being inspired to lose any weight.