Ode to Becky and Sari.

So. Last night I got to hang out with two of my favorite ladies. Sari and Becky. These girls are so great and I always laugh a ton when I am with them. Like my face usually hurts from laughing so much. Here are some reasons I like them:

* They read my blog

* Sari - was in gestation (is that what it's called?) for 10 months and tells a great story about how she was born with a rat tail and freakishly long fingernails.

* If you make reference to any early 90s evangelical Christian trend they understand. For example: McGee and Me, The Continentals, DC Talk, Smitty, Joni Erickson Tada, etc.

* Not only do they understand - they don't get offended of any mocking of said trends.

* While other girls put quilts, China and handmade doilies in their hope chest - Becky has a bag of clearance towells and a George Foreman grill.

* They laugh at my references to early 90s Sunny Delight commercials.

* We can usually fit Joel Osteen into pretty much every conversation.

* Sari always welcomes a biblical rebuking from me - someone even captured the moment on film below:

* Similarly, Becky is always willing to share her wise counsel with others in need. Especially if the impromptu counseling session occurs in a forest by a lovely stream.



* They don't mind an awkard conclusion to a blog about them.

* Um...I am done.

short blog

Um - has anyone ever used the restroom right before meet and greet time at church - so when you shake people's hands - your hands are still kind of wet from washing them - even though you are frantically trying to dry them on your jeans? Yeah, me neither. That would be embarrasing.

Irony

My brother has been complaining over the amount of deep spiritual blogs. So, to indulge his shallowness I will try to update on the more humourous side of life. Except this is kind of about my sinful behavior - which has already been repented of. So I feel it is ok to blog about.


So this weekend I was driving down Dobson Road. I was late for church, so naturally I was speeding. Criminally. And putting other people's lives in danger. And then...someone cut me off. Like, pulled out right in front of me and got up to a speed of oh, say 35. Now, I have been known to get road rage from time to time so I moved on over to the other lane and wouldn't let him get over when he wanted to. So mean. But then I realized that this wasn't just your average annoying driver...this was the Ice Cream Man. No joke. "Grandpa's Ice Cream" to be exact. So then, I felt pretty convicted over my poor behavior. What kind of girl cuts off Grandpa Ice Cream on the way to church?? What kind of ugly person have I become?

Good Friday

"Unless you see yourself standing there with the shrieking crowd, full of hostility and hatred for the holy and innocent Lamb of God, you don't really understand the nature and depth of your sin or the necessity of the cross. " - C.J. Mahaney

Wow

This comes from a really good article I read today! I found it to be pretty dang good. Sorry for the un-humorous blog.

http://www.boundless.org/regulars/hungry_years/a0000910.html


“The Bible talks about pruning away branches so that the tree will be more fruitful. Cutting hurts, but it brings growth.” He told me about a friend who had accumulated a lot of commitments to good things, but no longer had room in his life for new opportunities from God. “I told him, ‘you have to routinely evaluate your commitments to make sure your life isn’t cluttered with activities that are no longer fruitful.’ You have to be willing to cut those things off so that you can grow in other areas.”
Our problem is that we get comfortable in the security of what has worked in the past. But Paul says, “Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”
When God sends opportunities our way, it often requires us to leave the security of things behind us in order to act on what is ahead of us. "

Murse Man

So, last week I went out to dinner with a pal. I was waiting out front when a man, in his late 30s and unfortunately, carrying a man purse (a Murse if you will) came up to me and asked me if I was Mallory. He had been staring at me kind of awkwardly before he approached. I think he thought I was his blind date. In the past, near-bald men in their late 30s, with misguided fashion sense, were my teachers or the dads' of my friends ...and now suddenly they are potential suitors? When did I get so old?

Advice tip of the day:
First date? Leave the man purse at home.

Gym time

Tonight I am going to discuss the gym. The good thing about going to the gym is that it allows a good 30 minutes for people watching. The bad thing about going to the gym is that sometimes you don't want to watch these people - but they are like a car wreck and you can't turn your head. Here are a few characters I see regularly:

American flag pants man: Oh yes. A grown man in short shorts resembling an American flag. I am pretty sure Betsy Ross did not ever intend for such desecration as she was assembling our nation's symbol. The only pledge you want to say when you see them is to never marry a man who would wear these.

Grunting man: We know the weights are heavy because we can see that there are a lot of them on the bar - but your grunting is just embarassing - and drowning out my 50 Cent.

Totally disinterested gym worker: This guy comes around at least once a night and kind of pretends to clean equpiment. But really he just stands there with his sanitizer watching the Suns game.

Selfish magazine hoarder: Ok. This girl takes all the People magazines and the Glamour magazines in the rack and leaves you with Sailing Today or Hadassah - the magazine for Jewish men. No bueno Miss Greedy. I want to know what J-Lo named her babies too.

Miss why the heck are you at the gym cuz if I looked like you I would be at Cold Stone girl: This girl is ridiculously good looking and is virtually flawless. And she has been on the eliptical next to you for 58 minutes. You know because you look at her screen to see how many calories she has burned and how long she works out to look like that. You will leave the gym and probably eat something unhealthy before this girl even starts her cool down. You will tell yourself she has no personality - and that your handwriting is probably better.

I liked this.

I liked this quote from John Piper below. I added the picture for dramatic effect. Or affect. I am not sure.

"Let this be your life: Ponder him; be pervaded with him; point to him. The more you know of him, and the more you admire the fullness of his beauty, the more you will reflect him. O that there would be thousands of irresistible reflections of the beauty of Jesus."

This is the last time I will mention kleenex - promise.

Today I went to the Gap and the cashier asked me if I had a cold. He said he had a cold too - so I pulled out my Vicks Kleenex and gave him one. I think he was thought it was strange. I said: "I usually don't hand out kleenex to strangers, but these are amazing." Boys probably think I am so weird.

In other news, tonight I learned that if you comment on someone else's photo on facebook - everyone else can read that comment and then also click on the picture that the comment was about. Just a little something to keep in mind if you are commenting on a picture of oh, say, you swimming in the Dead Sea, squinting, covered in mud and with bad hair.

Oh well. Charm is deceptive anyways.